You're a failure. I'm a failure. We are all a bunch of absolute fuck-ups.

And if you’re honest with yourself… you’ve felt it too. Haven’t you?

That sinking feeling in your gut when you realize you made the wrong call.

The weight of regret pressing down on you, whispering that you should have known better.

The voice in your head telling you that you always find a way to mess things up.

I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I’ve ignored the red flags. Dated the wrong women. Convinced myself that this time would be different, only to end up in a complete disaster.

I’ve poured money into a new business product, believing it was a guaranteed success, only to watch my bank account bleed dry and had to face the brutal reality that I made the wrong call.

I’ve helped people who swore they had my back, only to be used, drained, and left questioning why I gave so much in the first place.

I’ve set massive goals. Swore I’d stay disciplined. And then, slipped back into old habits, wondering if I was just fooling myself in the first place.

But here's the thing…

I wouldn’t change any of it, even if I could.

Every failure shaped me into the person I am today. Every battle taught me something I couldn’t have learned any other way. Every setback forced me to adapt, to get smarter, to come back stronger.

I’ve realized that failure isn’t the enemy, it’s all part of the process of becoming who you are meant to be.
‍

You Were Trained to See Failure the Wrong Way

The problem isn’t failure itself. The problem is how you've been conditioned to see it.

You've been told that failure means you're not good enough, that it’s proof that you should quit, that it’s a sign you weren’t cut out for the challenge.

All of these are lies that were programmed into you by people who lived in fear.

They lacked the confidence to persevere.

They crumbled when things didn’t go as planned.

They ran from failure, and it made them weak.

Instead of owning their fears, they rewrote the story.

They convinced themselves that failure was bad and told you the same.

This is a dangerous trap that keeps you stuck.

It turns you into the kind of person who only knows how to “play it safe.”

Before you know it, you’re suffocating in a life of stagnation, watching opportunities pass you by, too afraid to make the moves that could change everything.

It’s easy to fall into this cycle because humans crave predictability.

Your brain is wired to seek safety; it’s a survival mechanism.

But here’s the truth: certainty is an illusion. Life is unpredictable. 

You have no idea what’s coming next. Yet, your mind will automatically start painting worst-case scenarios to paralyze you with fear and keep you clinging to false security.

Thousands of years ago when survival meant avoiding real dangers, this instinct had a purpose. But today it will lead you straight to a life of mediocrity.

What once protected us now holds us back.

History has always been shaped by a simple divide…

Those who stay in their comfort zones and those who explore the unknown.

Now, ask yourself, who do we remember centuries later?

Here’s a hint… it’s not the ones who traded adventure for a false sense of security.

Why is this sense of security false? Because there is danger in stagnation, in allowing failure or the potential for failure to hold you back…

The longer you stay in this cycle, the harder it is to break free.

You watch others move forward, taking risks, building something meaningful, while you stay stuck in the same place. Deep down, you resent yourself for it. 

You know you were meant for more.

But every time you hesitate—every time you let fear win—you reinforce the belief that maybe this is all you'll ever be.

Do you really want to wake up one day, years from now, realizing you wasted your life playing it safe? Are you willing to let that be your story?
‍

Every Painful Moment Is Shaping the Future You Want

You already have what it takes to overcome failure and come back stronger.

How do I know? Because 99% of people wouldn’t even take the time to read this.

They’d rather play the victim, telling themselves failure means they’re not good enough. They’d rather cling to their excuses than face the truth that failure isn’t your enemy. It’s your greatest teacher, the one that forces you to level up.

Every failure you experience holds critical information if you’re willing to see it as a lesson instead of a punishment.

Yes, sometimes that teacher is brutal and the lesson is painful as hell.

Failure has a way of exposing where you’re weak. It reveals what needs to change for you to actually accomplish your goals. As much as it sucks, it’s necessary because sometimes you have to get hit hard as hell to finally wake up.

But once you’re awake, you stop taking failure personally. You detach and analyze the situation and for the first time, you actually learn.

Once you see failure for what it really is, you can turn it into your greatest advantage.

Every failure is a tool that can sharpen your mind and body, and hone your strategy. But only if you refuse to let it break you.

You have to lean into the discomfort. Let it harden you and understand that the pain of failure is temporary, but the lessons will change everything.

Think of it like building muscle in the gym.

The only way to grow is to push your muscles to failure and break them down so they can rebuild stronger. If you stop short, if you avoid that final reps, you get mediocre results at best.

But if you go all the way and push past your current threshold, you will always win in the long run. 

Tremendous growth is inevitable for those who refuse to hold back.

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced failure as a teacher more than in Jiu-Jitsu. Every damn class, I get choked out. Submitted. Over and over again. By the time it’s over, I’m licking my wounds, wrestling with that inner voice, the one whispering:

"You don’t have what it takes."

"You’re not progressing fast enough."

"You’re bullshitting yourself. Just give up."

But over the years, I’ve learned to detach from that voice. Instead of letting it break me, I study it. I replay what happened—every mistake, every misstep—so I can adjust and avoid them next time.

Then I drag myself back to class, ignoring the resistance screaming at me to quit.

And yeah, progress always feels slow, but it’s happening.

I know that if I just keep showing up, putting in the reps, a year from now, I’ll be a completely different grappler.

I didn’t learn this lesson by reading self-help books. I learned it by throwing myself into real-world experiences, by saying YES to life.

Whether it was booking hardcore shows in high school, touring in a band, backpacking across Europe, starting Norse Fitness, opening a gym, or even choosing to have a kid, every step was a leap into the unknown.

Which is what this all comes down to…

You have to be willing to step into uncertainty, to trust that no matter what happens, you’ll find a way forward because every failure adds to your arsenal and prepares you for whatever comes next.

That fear of failure is always going to be there. It won’t just disappear. It's a survival mechanism hardwired into us over thousands of years of evolution. But you have a choice.

Instinct will sound the alarm when you step into the unknown, but you decide whether it’s a warning to retreat or a signal to rise to the challenge.

You can push past the doubt, hesitation, and fear.

You can choose to chase your highest potential. Every time you do—every time you lean into growth despite the risk of failure—you reshape your identity. You’re evolving into the person you were meant to be.
‍

Nothing Happens Until You Make a Move

The only way to continue the never-ending pursuit of growth is by detaching from the emotions of failure and focusing solely on improvement.

In every situation, you have two choices:

You can focus on the negative or the positive.

This decision happens in the blink of an eye but it shapes your entire worldview.

If you believe life is out to get you, that you’re destined for pain and misery, that every setback is just proof of your inadequacy, you will always find evidence to confirm it. On the other hand, you can also choose to see every situation in a positive light and keep climbing higher.

Didn't get the job you wanted? Good. Now you can refine your skills and find a role that’s a better fit.

You and the girlfriend broke up? Great. Now you know exactly what you do—and don’t—want in your next relationship.

Product launch was a bust? No problem. Now you have a clearer picture of what the market doesn’t want.

Lost your competition? Perfect. Now you know the weaknesses you need to sharpen before the next one.

You see, every setback can either derail you or propel you forward. The choice is always within your control. You can find the lesson or use it as an excuse to stay stuck.

You have to own your failure and accept that you still have work to do, and that’s a good thing.

No excuses. No blaming others. No sinking into a "woe is me" mindset. Take responsibility. Then develop your next plan of attack.

Ask yourself:

What went right?

What went wrong?

What do I need to change to make sure this doesn’t happen again?

From there, you can adjust your strategy and go back on the attack.

Now, all of this is easier said than done.

You' still have to keep watch over that inner critic, the one that wants to keep you trapped in stagnation by feeding you an illusion of failure.

Overcoming this won’t happen overnight. Like anything else, it takes putting in the reps.

But here’s the good news: the more you train yourself to learn from failure instead of letting it defeat you, the faster you’ll grow from every experience.

You are now becoming the kind of person who bounces back stronger from every setback, and that’s how you become unstoppable.

The key is to never stop moving forward.

The best way to make this transformation permanent is to always have a new goal in front of you.

Never let yourself reach one objective and stay put for long. Set your sights on the horizon and throw yourself back into the unknown.

When obstacles arise, don’t panic. Don’t hesitate. Don’t break under pressure. Step back, adjust, and push ahead.

Failure is no longer something to be avoided.

You see it as fuel, feedback, and part of the process.

With that shift, the only thing left to do is take action.

Look at your life. Find the thing you’ve been avoiding, the goal you’ve hesitated on, the risk you’ve been too afraid to take. Face it. Attack it. Make your next move today.

It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be something. A single step forward.

Because the only way to grow from failure is to put yourself into situations where the potential for setbacks is possible.

Remember, the only true failure is to never try in the first place.

‍